Matthew McConaughey is the very bane of my existence. How he managed to have such a well-known and prestigious acting career is far beyond my understanding. He’s the kind of person that just shouldn’t be allowed to open their mouths. The long, drawn out, unbearable amount of time it takes him to get out a single god forbidden sentence is exhausting and plain painful to watch. His “famous Texan accent” makes him sound extraordinarily stupid, almost as though he grew up in a rural village that used horses as their only source of transportation, burned all books other than the bible as a religious practice, and watered their plants with Gatorade. Not only does he sound as though he has the intelligence of a parrot, but he’s from Texas. That is