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Monologue From Jesus Confessions

336 Words2 Pages
Forgive me Facebook, for I have sinned. It's been over twenty years since my last confession. In the way, way back, when I was but a wayward altar-boy, I once stole a whole bag of Jesus's body wafers to eat at my own leisure. They pretty much tasted like concentrated Catholic guilt. I blame the naïve practise of leaving churches unlocked and giving me knowledge of the spare office key. It could have been much worse I knew how to open the safe too. I'm not even sorry, I've seen how much stuff the bastards are hoarding at the Vatican. I don't reckon Father Tom would have been too bothered about the Christ crisps, I probably coulda just asked for them, but where's the fun in that. He was pretty cool for a priest, he would use his Divine influence
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