Negative Core Beliefs

A problem that effects both my personal and professional life is that of trust in others and myself. Growing up, I often had inconsistent adults in my life and was subjected to abuse on different levels by multiple individuals. There was rarely a person I could count on for long, other than myself. By the time I was five years old, I was responsible for taking care of myself and my younger brother in many ways. Although there were times when we had a caregiver, our father, older siblings, my mother 's mother, none of these individuals were consistently around for many years. When they were around, they did not consistently give attention to basic needs my brother and I had, such as hunger. Additionally, my family moved seven times in five years,

These included others ' needs always coming before my own, the world being an extremely dangerous place where others would always hurt me in some way, that I would continue to lose all of those I cared for and would continue to be rejected from all new situations, that something was profoundly defective/wrong with me, and that I deserved to be punished continually as my being was incompetent, unlovable, shameful, and in need of constant punishment. Over the past few years, as I have worked through many of my emotional and psychological issues, I have lessened my negative core beliefs. However, many of these beliefs have only lessened to mild/moderate negative core beliefs. Although I am a much happier, positive individual, I know that there is still much work to be done in order to have a healthier outlook on the

Another area of my life that is greatly impacted by these negative core beliefs is my professional life. I do not often take risks in my work or stand up for myself in any way. I was sexually harassed at Red Rock Cafe for about a year and a half from the time of my interview. Despite this, I agreed to work there and to keep my mouth shut about the illegal practices that went on. It was only after being fired without cause that I decided to stand up for myself and speak out about the harassment I experienced. Even after making this decision and beginning a law suit again Red Rock, there were many times I attempted to back out of this decision. I worried that the courts would not believe what I had to say and that I may face punishment if they thought I lied about my testimony. Despite knowing myself and knowing what I experienced, I still had this extreme doubt. I fear that I have made the environment worse for the staff still employed at this establishment. As of January 12, 2016 I have received the notice that the courts have found reasonable cause in my favor and therefore have believed my story. I have deep regrets about accepting employment and allowing the behavior to continue until I was more severely negatively affected. I hope that this victory brings about change in how they operate on a day-to-day. Additionally, I hope this victory allows me to feel more confident in myself. I know that this will take time to sink in and that I still have a ways to go until this