Norman Cousins 'Anatomy Of An Illness'

Humor

One of the more reliable signs that a marriage is working is if the two partners laugh together, frequently. It’s well known that laughter has a health benefit, as

Norman Cousins wrote about based on personal experience in his groundbreaking book Anatomy of an Illness. He was given a death sentence by doctors and decided to laugh his way back to health. His book is about how that worked for him.

Laughter is a very rational way to accept the totally irrational aspects of life, in- cluding the tough times in a marriage. Expecting two people to agree all the time is the most irrational expectation you can have. People are prone to asking unan- swerable questions and taking life far too seriously. Humor is a way of making everything ridiculous and in so

With her mother committed to babysit- ting, time off from Robb’s job secured, and a week selected, the only unresolved part is where they’d go. He wants to lie on a tropical beach and play golf. She wants to do an ambitious walking tour in an exotic place. The discussion has re- mained civil until now, when Robb, feeling unappreciated for the hours he puts in at work, blows up and accuses Laurie of being selfish and unconcerned about his needs. Instead of going tit for tat and throwing an accusation back at him, Lau- rie chuckles and pauses. Then she looks Robb in the eye and says, “How about we go to Maui. I whip you in a round of golf on day one, and you climb Mount

Kiluea with me on day two.” The use of humor (Laurie doesn’t play golf) and the suggestion of compromise immediately changed the temperature between them and allowed them to arrive at a mutually agreeable resolution.

So laughter in relationships can break up the “stuckness” in the same way a lubricant frees up a rusty axle. Laughter allows you to relax and enjoy each other even though you may