Personal Narrative: Marriage Life In A Chaldean Family

I was to immediately move across country to live with my strict uncle and his family of six after my parents discovered I had a boyfriend at the age of fifteen. They were afraid I was brainwashed by the American culture. They thought it was best to move us from Phoenix, Arizona to Shelby Township, Michigan to be around people of my ethnicity, mostly my family. I remember crying the entire way there, the tears running down my face began to expose streaks due to the non-water-proof loreal foundation I had on. my father tried to convince me that my destiny was in Michigan. “You are going to make an amazing wife to a Chaldean man someday”, said my father. Going on, as he tried to explain our views as a Catholic Iraqi, daddy’s little girl

Leaving my parents’ house without a proposal for marriage was forbidden. Marriage life in the Chaldean community is very much arranged. after many stages of approval from other family members, the potential bride to-be then has one chance to decline. Women of my culture are to not date, the decision is based on reputation of the man proposing and his family. I once asked my mother how I could accept a proposal from a man i knew nothing about? Without any passion in her voice she answered, “ Cater to him now, love will come later.” All of the other girls in my family were at least engaged to be married by the age twenty-one. Unlike them I had a different plan for myself, I always spoke my mind without hesitation; It was clear to all members in my family that I was going places without permission from a man. I felt it was my responsibility to end this, and I was willing to go through whatever it took to prove a point. I wanted to be free to

It had its good days and bad days though, not speaking to my mother or father for an entire year was heartbreaking. The good days were easy to get through but when it rained it poured, some days I felt there was nowhere to turn. It kept me motivated though, I knew I needed to develop thick skin because mommy and daddy would not be there to save me. I became very cautious and aware of my surroundings, everyone was guilty until proven innocent in my eyes. I had to travel the safe route. Moving on to Columbus after the season was over at Cedar Point, I leased my first apartment. Things were going great for me, I was living one day at a time. My goal was to get into school and make my parents proud, I wanted them to see that I was more than just a bride. I worked extra hard, I made sure my bills were paid on time. I have learned that I do not have any room for mistakes while living out on my own, especially when I refuse to accept any help. If I was going to do this I wanted to finish it how I started