Personal Narrative: Finding Hope

Plans disintegrate without warning, "the heart of man plans his, but the Lord establishes his steps," Proverbs 16:9. Construing plans and setting goals are part of life additionally, these are spiritual disciplines. While the Lord calls individuals to set goals, he also commands them to submit to His will. "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord," Isiah 55:8. He understands ultimately how each moment contributes to the vast picture; subsequently bringing glory to his name. This is a lesson I have encountered countless times; even recently. I sat with my agenda and colored pens, which I similarly did every few days planning out what needed to accomplish. A round of weakness and pain consumed me,

Furthermore, he interrogated me about my symptoms. The severity of my pain was a mystery, additionally the medical experts questioned how I was still stable. Strangers swarmed around my room, all with a different purpose. Yet all with the same ultimate goal, to assist me and nurse me back to health. The remainder of the night was anything but restful. Endless testing, mad dashes to the bathroom, intense pain, and doctors interrupting sleep. Weakness dominated, weighting me down causing me to nearly pass out a dozen times. Being admitted on the weekend can be a challenge. The doctor ordered laxatives without offering an explanation. My nurse explained this and graciously stayed with me while I cried a river of tears etched in frustration, confusion, and pain. The first night in the hospital is the most frustrating and longest in my personal option. The following morning I was informed that I would be having a colonoscopy. Due to the severity of my condition, I was placed in isolation. Anyone who entered my room, at their own risk, needed to wear a gown and gloves and needed to keep their distance as much as possible. I was placed on a clear liquid diet. Additionally, I was put on two precautionary antibiotics. This was my third colonoscopy, therefore I was not

Despite the fact that my blood work was stabilizing my symptoms and pain where still intense. No one had an explanation of how my liver enzymes climbed drastically high or how the ulcerative colitis and lupus flare to that extent in a short amount of time. After a handful of failed treatments, the doctors reluctantly prescribed Prednisone. Prednisone is a steroid that can also be classified as an, immunosuppressive, hormone and antineoplastic. This steroid is not the same type that well known people such as sports players or movie stars take. Prednisone should be a fast acting medication. It is used for countless illnesses arthritis, blood disorders, breathing problems, severe allergies, skin diseases, cancer, eye problems, immune system disorders just to name a few. There is a side effect overload when looking at Prednisone. The side effects range from irritating to utterly