I wasn’t sure if I wanted to leave…. I grew up here for nine years since I was a baby, but the feeling of me leaving didn’t feel right. I didn’t really know what to utter to my dad I didn’t want to go. Jamaica was fun living their having childhood memories was the best and leaving them behind was never my idea.
I remember when my dad left New York to come to Jamaica to prepare my paperwork….when we were standing in line that’s when I started thinking hard. My mother was with us, and I knew she didn’t want me to leave either. Even my siblings and Grandma, I didn’t want to leave behind
I felt constrained I’m not going to know anyone there. What if no one likes me? What if I can’t make any new friends and I have to sit all alone at lunch every day?. All these thoughts came to me. Me, a girl, who thought she was born in Jamaica and spoke the language was going to America?.
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I was afraid to leave most of my family behind, afraid to leave my friends and the hobbies I had. I told my dad but he told me “it's for the best” but I was young I didn’t know what that meant.
That thought still crossed my mind was he sending me to America because him and my mom was on bad terms or does he think this isn’t a good life for me? But I was perfectly fine, I was happy living with my mom and siblings. But I guess my feelings didn’t really matter.
It was time for me to go to the airport. I started crying thinking this is my last time with everyone. Was I going to come back? Why isn’t my other siblings coming? but all I knew was it was me and my dad.
It’s been four year since i have seen a part of my family. Now i know what my dad was talking about when i asked him “why was i leaving?”. There’s not a day i don't feel like going back especially to see my