“Their violence was petty and ignorant, but ultimately, it was true to who they were. The real violence... the violence that I realized was unforgivable is the violence that we do to ourselves, when we're too afraid to be who we really are.” This line by Nomi, a transgender woman, while having a conversation with Lito, a gay man, in the Netflix series Sense8 is unforgettable for me. It really did have a great impact on me. This quote triggered me to look back on my past experiences that helped shape the person that I am today. In this reflection paper, I will be discussing one of, if not the most, concealed and deepest part of my being. It is very rare for me to talk about my sexual identity, but I have acknowledged the fact that it is …show more content…
I started to become more comfortable with the fact that I am gay mainly due to the fact that the Canadian society that I am privileged to be a part of is more accepting. I feel that it makes a lot of sense for me to be here. I remember when I was new here a couple of years ago, it was a huge culture shock for me to see same sex couples expressing their love in public, or even in the media. I also remember how people have no problem talking about queer-related issues openly, which really fascinated me. Eventually, as I learn to adapt to my new environment, I was able to integrate and assimilate in the new culture and society I am in. Consequently, this inspired me to create a unique fusion of Filipino and Canadian way of thinking. It allowed me to look at myself in different perspectives. The last five years really was the period where, to quote a former professor, my ‘umbra of becoming’ took place. It is the point where the fuzziness ends and the shadow or light begins. In essence, things became clearer to me. I was able to accept my true self. I am somehow relieved of the burden of lying to myself. I started to feel good about myself and appreciate the fact that I am a beautiful person and is capable of loving. I realized that the reason I was apathetic and was not attracted to anyone, whether girls or boys, when I was young, stems from my repression. That is why I can totally relate to Nomi’s quote. After I watched that scene, I broke down and cried. Suddenly, I experienced all the pain that I have caused myself. It also dawned on me that nobody was actually causing me pain except myself. My family is not talking about my sexuality maybe because they have accepted it as well. I feel, through their actions and non-verbal communications, that they are okay with it. I know that their perspectives also changed since we are all living in Canada now, a society that embraces diversity and