Personal Narrative: My Life As An Outsider

I’m beginning to realize that in some circles, especially my own family—that I am being “pushed out”, as an outsider. It started years and years ago, but now it is finally settling in that I don’t really belong to any one group—no matter where I go in life. Whether it was elementary school where girls and boys would call me ugly and refused to have others participate with me in any kind of way. I knew I really wasn’t ugly, but they were mad because I was not like them. They didn’t like me because I was different, I was black, I had kinky hair, and I was … strange.

Some people say that they hated high school, but high school was a piece of my life where I actually fit in with a group. I was lucky to meet teens that liked me because I was strange

And people say it’s supposed to be better than high school—but it’s not. Not for me. My high school friends are gone and off to better things. I like to think I’ve made new friends at work, but one dreadful day some time ago, I find out that I’m that one odd man out. I felt like I was being friendly, a good listener and someone that supports others. But I’m the weirdo again. I found out that I was the weird one when everyone was invited to a party and everyone attended, but then weeks later someone mentions something to me and then realize that I wasn’t invited at all and then they change the subject quickly. Some drop a few hints about what a blast it was, that so and so did this and that. Events and parties kept popping up but I was and am always continuously left out. And it has happened again, and again… and

I get to write this novel about myself that most likely only one person will read (me). Loners get more time to themselves, and time is a precious thing. But some people have said, what is time if you can’t spend it with others—and I think there is some merit in that.

I miss my friends, who have families now. I never wanted to start a family of my own—I still don’t. I do value being alone. But without friends, I do wonder what having a child would be like. Would my child love me? Or worse, would I love my own child? I don’t think it is worth the risk.

So, I spend my free time writing stories about characters that have or find these amazing friends. My most popular story is about two girls that are best friends who have to hunt down supernatural creatures that are ruining the town they live in. My second most popular story is about two women who become friends despite their differences and work together to find a murderer who framed one of them. And my third most popular story is about a lonely woman who goes to a school for demon hunters and finds a friend in someone who didn’t believe she should be there in the first place.

I love writing about friendship and the bonds that tie people together because it’s something that I lack in my personal