Personal Narrative: My Virtual Mother

In the virtual simulation, I was faced with multiple unexpected challenges such as my daughter’s diagnosis of ADHD and her temporary drug use and felt uncertain of what to do. So like most new parents, I took it one day at a time and accepted the fact that I might not get it exactly right every time. I also took advice from professionals, close friends and family when it was necessary. As long as I was putting my daughter’s well-being first and continuously showing her how much I loved her, I was satisfied with the decisions I made. My ultimate goal was to guide her and make sure she grew into a responsible, mature, and intelligent woman. This paper will seek to describe how the collective difficult parenting choices I made for my virtual daughter

When Maya was twelve, I looked up Maya’s personal webpage after overhearing her and her friends talking. I found out that she was posting quotes, interests, and other content that was too mature for them. I also found out that Maya posted that she was sixteen. Rather than forbidding her to go on the website or casually mentioning what I saw, I sat her down and mentioned what I discovered. We talked about acceptable and safe Internet usage and I had her remove anything that I found inappropriate from her page. I also informed the parents of the girls who were lying on their online profiles. In this day and age, I find that monitoring Maya’s internet activity

Her peers had a strong effect on what she did. As a result, some of the parenting choices I made didn’t really have an effect on her. The fact that she was almost eighteen didn’t help matters. She was becoming more and more independent. For example, I noticed Maya smoking cigarettes when she was sixteen. I reminded her of the harmful and additive properties of cigarettes and that many kids who think they can quit end up life-long smokers. She continued to do her own thing and a year later, she began hanging out with the so- called “druggie” crowd at school. After her arrest, Maya she admitted to using crystal meth and pot. I met with the county judge who suggested Maya plead guilty. She had to spend time in rehab and serve a supervised six-month mandatory community service program. It was then I realized that it wasn’t my job to save Maya all time or enable her. Instead, I realized that her independence involved her learning to live with her own mistakes.

The results of the simulation both confirmed and negated my expectations. Reading about parenting and actually parenting are two different things. There are no perfect answers because no child is the same. Some theories like Bowlby’s and Erickson’s stages of psychosocial development affirmed my expectations given what I learned in class and gave me some guidance on how to raise my Maya. On the other hand, I was thrown for a loop