Its been 4 months…since she left me.
My disordered soul did things to my body that I cannot imagine doing to myself now. I deserted myself in my room and survived in the dark. Devouring only my sorrows and gulping my tears silently. You were a heartbreaking blood sucker that intoxicated me with stages of the yellow fever. First, you infected my mind with your smile and the way you talked to me. Second, you hid these emotions deep in my brain that I actually saw past them. Last, when I least expected it you silently appeared out of the blue and poisoned me. My emotions played games on my heart and I was unaware of anything that was happening around me. I just felt heartbroken at first because it was so sudden and I was in denial.
“I walk through the valley of the shadow of death.”
Suffering in isolation causes you to overthink every single step you did with the person. No matter if you walked down the right road or the wrong road. I thought about every possibility that could have been a mistake, something so little that made us grow separately from each other. However, I couldn’t sit in isolation for most of my days. I’d have to fake a smile and make everybody around me happy, when I wasn’t. My happiness meant the most to them, but I wish her happiness was mine
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I could compare myself to a frog. At first, I was born out of an egg, later I learned how to swim. However, as soon as I started to love swimming I had to develop legs and get out of the water and dare to jump on high rocks. It’s like how I got comfortable with you, but I had to leave because I wasn’t part of the water no more. Doesn’t mean I won’t visit, yet it will be hard for me to stare at the water and not be able to swim again like how I used to. I know I shouldn’t worry because I got my friends. All I need is time to forget what I went through and remember the good days. I’d rather enjoy the view and memories other than complaining to myself about ‘what