When I was growing up, I was in a small town. With about 1,000 people in total. I went to a small school that in total had about 300 kids in the Elementary, Junior high, and High school. In kindergarten-5th grade things went really good. I had a few really good friends, we 'd hang out all the time. Play video games and go down to the river and play on the sandbars. But in 6th grade, all of that changed. I started getting bullied. Even by some of my old friends. Every. Single. Day. I would try to push it off as a temporary thing, and try to forget about it. But inside I was feeling hurt. As if someone had come and rip away my happiness. I didn 't understand why. It only got worse as the year went on. Halfway through the school year I started …show more content…
And for the last few months suicide has become an even more part of my daily thinking. I always wander off into thought and think about things. But the thought of suicide always seems to resurface into those thoughts at some point. On a daily basis I think about suicide, and what the repercussions would be for those around me. I am 15. I have 2 younger sisters and parents that want the best for me. I feel so awful thinking about it. Would my sisters see me do that and decide to do the same if they ever start feeling the pain? Would my parents be able to handle it? Would I scar my sisters and give them emotional problems? And with the semi recent loss of my grandpa, how would they be able to take this. I am doing my best to stop thinking suicidal. But it 's becoming harder and harder with each pressing day. I just want to live a normal life. I don 't want to be socially awkward. I just want to be normal. But it seems as though that will never happen. If I wasn 't afraid of hurting my family I would have ended it by now. I 'm at a loss for what to do. My parents don 't know any of this and neither does anyone else. I shut my parents out of my life for the most part, I 'm afraid of hurting them, and I don 't want them to have to worry about