You probably believe that getting what you want will make you happy, but it 's just a lie that we are told as children by our parents to get us to conform. "If you do what I want I 'll give you your toy and you can only be happy with your toy." As grownups, this carrot gets dangled in front of our noses in form of a job, friends, and relationships, and we do our best to conform to the expectations of others because we were led to believe that they have what we need to be happy.
In reality, changing yourself to conform to other 's expectations takes you further aways from the happiness, love, and connection you so desperately need because it 's not really you who 's getting those things.
It 's not really you who 's in the relationship
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They might not give you everything you want, but that 's okay because you already have everything you need.
That 's how your life becomes beautiful and worth living. Being yourself feels so wonderful and meaningful, and the emptiness in your chest will turn into a sense of meaning and belonging; your anxiety will turn into confidence, and your frustrations will be replaced by a sense of joy that goes through [TODO phrasing?] every fiber of your being.
Being yourself isn 't easy, though. You 've been conditioned all your life to conform to other people 's ideas and there are risks to expressing yourself honestly. The other person may be upset, and if it 's your boss, he might fire you, if it 's your girlfriend, she might leave you, and if it 's your parents, they might disown you. That means that being yourself isn 't without its costs, but the price you pay for pretending to be someone else is much higher.
Even though I know all of this, I still catch myself sometimes lying occasionally about things I feel embarrassed about, and sometimes I correct myself immediately, and sometimes I hope the other person doesn 't