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Positive Feedback-Personal Narrative

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Looking back on module two discussion I honestly did not receive a lot of constructive criticism. But I did receive a multitude of positive feedback, giving me the confidence to write on the subject matter I choose for my narrative essay. Several classmates replied to my post saying “I applaud your bravery”, “This is a very sensitive subject”, and “You picked a good topic choice”. With this kind of feedback I decided that I would take the topic and run with it as it seemed to catch attention right away. Not to mention this was an idea that gives me a plethora of thoughts that I can transfer onto paper. However my original narrative idea was about me being adopted as my major turning point in life. I decided against this idea mainly because
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Mistakes are one of the most common occurrences of human nature, and I felt I was the living embodiment of an unwanted one. I was born a traveler. Four months into my life, I had embarked on a journey that consisted of over 6,300 miles to an unfamiliar home after being abandoned by my birth parents at infancy. Going against convention, I was not raised in a culture of blood; the links which connect me to others are not based in biology, but in relationship. Despite the fact that living as an interracial adoptee is all I have ever known, I have spent an overwhelming amount of time continuously speculating about my biological family in Seoul, what my life would have been had I been raised there, where I would be now had I been adopted by a different family.

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My story, however, does not follow a fairy-tale script. Born with questions to my pedigree, I was considered illegitimate, and sent off for 135 adoption. Ironically, the kennel I was shipped to was the one my father had occupied in the big city. It was rebuilt a few blocks from its original location. There are many ups and downs in my journey and I will tell them as they transpired.

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Although, it took a lot of re-reading and piecing together. Also, it made me think about my own personal encounter with this topic. Realizing the main point of the conversation made me create my thesis which covered the main point. Doing this exposed the real conversation that this couple was having and the significance of them going back and forth on the issue. Another moment that I overlooked was the maturity of growth that this girl grew in such a short notice.

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Going into this class, I expected to just receive a high grade; however, I gained many more things. I was able to identify things I still struggle with in my writing. Tone and writing to my audience is the main skill I needed improvement on. On the first assignment, the personal narrative, I struggled in making the audience feel my story instead of just hearing it. Although I received feedback about my lack of tone from my peers and Professor Cindy, I did not put it into full consideration as my individualist writing mentality from high school carried over into college.

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Goal Number One I didn’t know it yet, but the way I viewed the game of lacrosse was about to change drastically. It was a normal day for me. I was in eighth grade, and I was getting ready for school.

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Diversity is something I stand for. I am half Caucasian, half African-American. My parents adopted me at birth and although they had two Caucasian sons already, they accepted me as one of their own and two years later adopted another biracial baby girl. Diversity has been my whole life, not conforming to one race or the other, but accepting both and all others. Film, through my eyes, knows no color

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I can never have my father’s smile or my mother’s eyes, and my skin tone will never match their pale skin, even though I am their daughter. My parents’ DNA cannot be traced in my body nor my siblings’. Growing up in this family has given me a future I would never have had if I were not adopted. At the age 10, I saw the world from another perspective when my family and I embarked on a journey to adopt my younger sister. Traveling back to my birth country shaped me into the person I am today because I have become open-minded through having a better understanding of privileges and values.

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At times in life, we may experience a chain’ of mishaps as part of our destiny. I had such an unpleasant events last Sunday, where everything went wrong. I am not an extremely skilled person to deal with such hectic situation. Usually in such situations I used to dent out of shape. However, after 29 years of alive, I’ve learned how to tackle the unfortunate moments of life and it really comes down to heaving the right conscience.

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The heart warming look in his eye's that reminded me of who he was in the beginning, was the only reason I stayed. I was lying to myself, feeling sorry for him; blaming myself for the emotional abuse I was enduring.  I could see the lost boy in his eyes after all the lies we had fed each other wishing that things could have been different. In the fight of love and war having to face the subconscious relief of finally being able to fearlessly let go of the memory we once had; I conducted the defense with great bravery till all his lies became hopeless melodies, where upon he fled. Turning a harmless peck I had confessed to given to another boy into his new retribution.

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Today I was going to the Christmas parade, I am very excited. The weather was nice outside. I was wearing all white. Now i am on my way to meet my friends at the parade and they were going to take me home. The parade starts at 7:00.

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Finally in module four I was able to fully apply my critical thinking skills by providing superior support for my central ideas, while also providing specific and original details. I mainly focused on attempting to understand the basics of each genre of essay, and achieved this by looking over the assigned reading and doing my own research on the essay

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I’m standing in the center or the room the only light that is in the room is the one following me, I hear her voice it’s so cold but so comforting to me. I see he standing in front of me her ghostly pale skin on her bones with her long fingernails and long hair always in her face, her dress torn and ripped at the bottom. She would scream at me in a high pitch I stood there staring at her trying hard not to move she moves swiftly but quickly to me she whispers in my ear “Your next, my child.” I heard other voices some laughing sinisterly and some repeating her. I closed my eyes I wake from my bed my pillow and sheets where wet from my sweat.

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Six month ago was today like many other days. I could woke up earlier in the morning and skype or called my mum over the phone in Africa for least 20minute every day because she was all I got and my motivation. We could talked over the phone about my future and how she could attend my graduation in the year 2016. I was so excited after 6years I could finally see my mum again and not on any occasion but on my graduation day. She could be granted a visa from Sierra Leone to come see me graduate.

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