High school was difficult for me to put it simply. Throughout almost all of it I was depressed. Caused by one thing or another and always varying in intensity, it was the only persistent aspect of my high school career. There are far too many events, feelings, and thoughts that provoked my spiral that I’m rendered unable to recall them all. Starting with my questioning of the morality of man after reading “All Quiet on the Western Front”, only to be escalated by the stresses of the IB program, then heightened by the worries that came with applying and affording college and my future in general. Those are just the major milestones of this exasperating journey, neglecting and forgetting many other feelings and events that I’ve blocked from my mind by now. …show more content…
If my reading of “All Quiet on the Western Front” was the beginning of the terrible chemical reaction taking place in my mind, then IB was the catalyst. Stresses from having to compete with the most intelligent people of your grade, the extra workload, the elaborate course work and in depth information. I appreciated the classes, I loved the teachers and felt as though I was actually learning a lot. What hurt the most about IB was IB art. I loved it too much. I took it far too seriously. Everything had to have a well thought out universal truth to it. Executed perfectly. Yet I lacked the time and I lacked the talent. I over thought every aspect of every detail of every piece that I had intentions of doing to a point of insanity. The stress was too much and I was driven to multiple mental and emotional break downs. There were many but I only remember two. The first was during the Thanksgiving break junior year. I had decided before the break that I would dedicate the entirety of my time off to working on the art that I was extensively behind on. I wouldn’t sleep, I wouldn’t eat until my piece was finished and it was as perfect as it was behind my closed eyes. This