Relational Dialect Analysis Paper

The concept I chose for my analysis is the concept of relational dialects, specifically the problem of Autonomy vs. Connection. I chose this concept because I witness it often in everyday life. Whether it is in my own life, through observing situations of others, or in TV shows or movies, I see this concept all around me. Being comfortable with relational dialects is the final step in achieving a healthy relationship. By definition relational dialects are “opposing forces, or tensions, that are continuous and normal in personal relationships” (Wood, page 200). One type of relational dialect is Autonomy vs. Connection. This is the main problem that arises from relational dialects, and it is caused by the desire for people to be together as friends or a couple but also to

The Artifact I chose was a moment from personal experience. Last year when I came to Iowa I decided to share a room with my best friend, Nicole. Nicole and I had been friends since we were in fifth grade and we decided it would be a good idea to share a dorm. The living arrangement went smoothly at first but slowly got worse as time progressed. Between planning many of our classes together, living in the same room together, and sharing the same friend group it seemed as if Nicole and I never had time apart. Tension slowly grew between us as we continued being together 24/7. I would try to walk alone to class, but she would want to join. I would try to do things alone, but found that she always wanted to tag along. I felt bad saying no so I would just allow it to happen. I now realize that what I was experiencing was the Autonomy vs. Connection problem. While spending all this time together we were overloading the connection side of the spectrum without saving time for