From the time we began talking in class about attachment styles and what they look like, I have been fairly certain about what my attachment style is. I believe I have a secure attachment style, but with ambivalent tendencies. This attachment style impacts every part of my life, especially my relationships with God and others. I consider myself a securely attached person, but my life has also produced some insecure attachment issues that I am still working through. Relational beliefs that come from my secure attachment style include the beliefs that I am worthy of love and capable of receiving love, that others are trustworthy and available to be there for me and display love. Because of these relational beliefs, I can form close relationships, …show more content…
In other words, I can have securely attached relationships with God and others, but I have to work through my ambivalent tendencies and the way they show themselves in my life first. The characteristics of ambivalent attachment include anxiety, insecurity (about God, self, or others), controlling behaviors, and unpredictability. The most powerful out of these characteristics in my own life is anxiety. Anxiety causes me to question whether I am really loved and appreciated. It constantly broadcasts worst-case scenarios into my consciousness, if I let it. It makes me wonder if I truly have the identity that God says I have. As a result of questioning so many parts of my life, I begin to feel inadequate or like I am messed up because I tend to waver back and forth between one belief and the other. For instance, one day I may be completely confident in my identity in Christ, but one negative interaction with a friend (or even a stranger) can trigger my anxiety, which triggers my insecurity, which triggers my questioning, which triggers my feelings of inadequacy, and the cycle repeats