The Horde Quarterly Report: As the FFB year starts, the Horde Institute understands that there is a demand for reliable investment information. Using hearsay, conjecture, rumors, and wild speculation, the H.I. seeks to illuminate the darkness and bring clarity to the FFB market. Assuredly no crystal ball exists, but with research and patients patterns can be revealed. This year, the H.I. will group the managers and their teams into three distinct categories. Managers that are likely not to perform and, consequently, lose your money will be given a snowball rating. Snowball…as in, not a snowball’s chance in (you know the rest). The next rating is chocolate éclair. These managers make up that creamy middle. The highest rating will be given …show more content…
Wahnon (Mr.), over the stringent objections of J. Wahnon (Mrs.), has taken it upon himself to become the league’s one man ambassador and welcoming committee. J Wahnon (Mr.) has indeed shown nothing but warmth & genuine heartfelt good-will, in rolling out the red carpet for new league owners A. Lee & A. Zoltan. He even went out of his way to offer the new ownership group several highly regarded naming suggestions during their exhaustive team-name search process. They are said to have given a number of these selections serious consideration before settling on “A-team”, aka “Cupcakes”, aka “Kitten Mittens”, aka “Powder & Lace”, aka “Flower Petals”, aka “Pillow Fights” (A. Lee & A. Zoltan turned down our requests to be interviewed for this article). Meanwhile, J. Wahnon (Mr.) is reportedly feeling good about his roster & clearly expecting another season spent at or near the top of our league. It is dubious at best though, to expect the Horde to be anything more than a middle of the pack ham-&-egger, after it’s highly questionable decision to draft Filthy-delphia QB Nick Foles to lead the team. Any franchise relying on one of the Lady-Eagles (I’m looking at you J. Lake), is sure to suffer the consequences of such a foolish choice. Oh well at least the Horde has Sam Bradford to fall back