Conflict In My Family

. Description of the Conflict This particular conflict ensued between members of my family. I come from a middle-income family background with staunch Christian beliefs. My father is an Associate Pastor and my mom a deaconess. Some years back my elder brother got a lady pregnant out of wedlock. Not only was she pregnant, she was from a staunch Muslim home, her Parents are wealthy with strong affiliation with the Oba of Lagos and was from a Polyandry background.

So many issues erupted; the lady’s family claimed that my brother purposely put their daughter in the family way to lay hold of their wealth, as she was the only girl out of her siblings. My Parents considered it a taboo for their son to marry from a Polyandry home and a Muslim background.

MY SOCIAL IDENTITY Social identities as earlier discussed in the question above often shape an individual’s perception processes. Usually, biases and stereotypes about certain social groups, such as racial and gender groups, are often built upon years of exposure to cultural stereotypes and personal experience.

Conflict is a ‘situation whereby people or groups of individuals are involved in a serious disagreement or argument. It is a situation fuelled by opposing ideas, opinions, feelings or wishes.’ Yinka Kolade, Power and Conflict, NCMG Class, Feb.28, 2015

My default social identity based on my background and cultural heritage is the belief that my tribe is superior to other tribes in Nigeria. This perception can be in the form of cultural richness or education. I presently harbour a silent stereotype perception about anyone from the Igbo community in Nigeria. The stereotype is about them not being co-operative and always looking for ways to get their own interest satisfied at the expense of others. This I guess is as a result of the Igbo tenants my Father took in while I was growing up and presently I have a Co-tenant that acts in the same manner. Therefore, this forms an unconscious bias to me when either interacting or most especially negotiating with an Igbo person. Often times when in conflict situation with someone from the Igbo tribe, my default mode is to be

Coleman, The Handbook of Conflict Resolution: Theory and Practice (2000), pp. 108-130. "Power can be usefully conceptualized as a mutual interaction between the characteristics of a person and the characteristics of a situation, where the person has access to valued resources and uses them to achieve personal, relational, or environmental goals, often through using various strategies of influence."(p. 113).

Another popular understanding by Articles from Breakthrough Consultancy,Ashton,Roundwood,Ireland suggests that “ power is the control, influence and exercise of authority over others; the ability to bend others to our will; to dominate people and situations for the purposes of self defence and self interest . Another view is that Power is the ability to make things happen, to influence the direction of thinking, action and outcomes –not necessarily about domination and control, which could be seen as a subset of ways of making things happen.”

Power