“The Engine of our Ruin.” Where should I even start. The indecisive, controlling director, the interesting cast that I had to work with or the excruciating stress and mental health issues that the play added to my already declining mental stability, that lead me to the seeking of counseling. Hmmm let’s start with the least stressful, the ‘beautiful’ cast I had the opportunity of working with.
We have Anisha (Razi) the fun, but highly intellectual girl from Harvey Mudd, who I found out is an emotional drunk after drinking way too much at a cast party and crying for dropping her red wine on a carpet. Morgan (Jessica) who was my favorite throughout the whole play and later told me she had a secret relationship, behind everyone’s back, with another
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Only two of us were Freshmen, Anisha (Razi) and I. Now before I go on let me contradict what I said in the first line. Mostly everyone got along pretty well. I, sadly enough, was not involved in most of the friendly discussion and jokes until half way into rehearsals when a fellow cast member noticed my lack of interest in continuing the play, but that will be explained further later on. Now I don’t want to think it was my fault that I was introverted at times. I am very antisocial, but when I did speak out I was ignored about 70% of the time, where I just went with what everyone else wanted so I wouldn’t make a seen. I mean I didn’t want to lose the one lucky opportunity I got to be in a college production. Possibility one of my last at Pomona, so I sucked it up and went along with being ignored. But when you add on a director that was as frustrating as Corey into the mix, it makes you go a little crazy at times. I already felt like the weakest link in the play for the fact that my character was different from the rest in the character development aspect. She seemed to show more emotion and expression than the others, but my perspective on my character wasn’t