This is my eulogy. 10/10. or something like that Joshua Darcy Samuel Steffert was born at home (*undefined number* Tay Street, Woodville, Manawatu, North Island, New Zealand, Southern Hemisphere, Earth, Milky Way), in the early morning of July the 6th, on the second millenia.where i used to live or some shish.jpg dont even freaking ask.png His life was simple, but it was perfect, until he reached the young age of 6. He wanted to go swimming in the centre of the pool in the Lido, but he did not know how to swim. He nearly drowned… But his mother soon saved him. About 4 years later, his brother got baptised, but that’s a different story for a different eulogy. The problem here, however, is that he was baptised in a strong-current river. And as the tradition goes, Josh nearly drowned again. He was saved by a newcomer to the church, who went back to America, never to be seen again. …show more content…
He went to the Lido (yet obscenely large and edgy photo.jpg again) and onto the diving boards, from being pressured into trying it out. He dived pathetically into the deep water, found himself running out of air, swum up, and made it out. The lifeguard was unempathetic, and sarcastically laughed “You alright champ?”. Josh replied with a smirk and said “Well, if being half-drowned isn’t a wakeup call, dunno what the f**k isn’t.” He then vowed never to swim. Ever. But that’ll probably change. Or