The Five Stages Of Grief In The Sorrow Of War By Bao Ninh

The Five Stages of Grief in The Sorrow of War Losing someone you love, or something dear to you, is painful, right? For mothers who forever wait on their sons’ return, for children to live in a home without a “roof”, and for all broken lovers’ oaths. War is not simply “pride of serving the country” or the “sacred duties of a civilian”. The real war is violent, destructive, leaving families permanently ripped apart. The Sorrow of War by Bao Ninh explores how trauma can reorder one’s ability to live in the present. This novel portrays the Vietnam War through the lens of a Northern Vietnamese soldier, Kien. Being one of the few veterans returning home, the survivor’s guilt had caught up to him. With only corpses to befriend, Kien went through denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance all by himself. Grief, funny how all it takes is a split second, and you put in a lifetime to fight, mourn, and finally let it go.

When one becomes so familiar with cutting throats and gouging eyes, he no longer sees the beauty in living, before him are just time loops of bombing raids and loud roaring tanks: “Since

Bargaining, he did, “He had tried desperately to forget Phuong, but she was unforgettable. He longed for her still.” (Ninh 71). This was not the first time someone had left him at his lowest. Phuong was just like his father, the old artist burned all his paintings and went down with them, like how his mother easily erased all traces of her past family and restarted with a new set. Loneliness swallowed Kien, and so did his dreams, passion, and will to live “He lost contact with his friends, then with the outside world in general. Except for the drink. And cigarettes.”(Nine 70). As loss sinks in, you often withdraw from others and unconsciously create this bubble of sadness, because self-pity is always the easiest coping