Loss is a natural sliver of life, and it is a part which is very upsetting – may it be losing something tangible, such as a lucky charm, or something abstract, such as innocence, or perhaps the most excruciating: losing a loved one – losses are frequently unpleasant. Fortunately, I never had to undergo the painful process of losing someone I cared about. The funeral services I have attended never warranted any feelings of utter sadness, but instead, the type of grief which spells “I wish I knew you better.” Although lately, reality has been slapping me hard on the face; I share a special bond with my dad, but I can never seem to erase from my mind that one day he might be gone, and it does not help that he has been having morbid dreams.
Growing older, I get more difficult challenges thrown at my feet every day. One may think that this will make a person more resilient, mature, and stable, but it just makes me more vulnerable. My younger self used to worry about onions on my pizza slice, but now those types of things are trivial to me; the reality now is that some things can slip away from your fingers in an instant – things that are not lucky charms, but rather people.
As a child, I was never close to my dad because he was always at work. Oddly enough, one of my most
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As much as he learns from his four children the triumphs and burdens of fatherhood, I learn tons of things as well, from a father who is bursting with humour, wit, wisdom, patience, diligence, and most of all, love – this abundant love that transpires in countless ways: the way he made me a peanut butter sandwich with orange marmalade at eleven o’ clock in the evening, the way he inflates the tires of my bicycle, the way he read me bible stories, the way he tells me to dismiss my feelings of self-doubt, the way he drives me to school, and the way he gives me a warm hug and a kiss when I wake up in the morning and when I go to bed at