The introduction is understandable but I had to read the first sentence a few times before I could advance to the thesis statement. The introduction paragraph needs a clear sentence that grabs the attention of your readers. I enjoyed your thesis, but after reading your body paragraphs, it is hard to understand the first sentence in your introductory paragraph adding to support your main point. I was confused trying to figure out if your visit to the hospital was the results of a terminal illness or your wisdom teeth. A few clues utilizing speech in your narrative more, could give a clear understanding of the scene. For example; my mother said, “Mary, we should get to hospital before the pain and the pressure starts again.” Or the doctor announced,