This essay is a fairly well-written paper. Your writing is clear, focused and persuasive. Especially when I completed reading the essay. I could see why you were so passionate about the topic. In paragraph 2 you demonstrated a remarkable list of states with the freedom to marry, and the list includes all states that prohibit marriage or relationship recognition.
In the conclusion, the last sentence is also well-written. It offers a suggestion that no one looks forward to a divorce, but if that time comes, all involved would want to be treated fairly, that relates back to the thesis.
Thesis: While there are great strides being made in the legalization of same-sex marriage, is just as important to have laws in place to protect these same
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Third, the author demonstrates an informed, logical counterargument with sufficient detail that support the claim. I feel the opposing claim again was very well-written providing a two facts that support the claim. However, the details were a little light, perhaps adding an interesting fact about the area to grab the reader.
Fourth, The writer does an excellent job using credible and effective sources throughout the paper that support the thesis. I even checked a few of them out, so that I could get a better understanding of the topic.
However, first person sources are very vital, and there is nothing like first-hand experience, but I would recommend, that it might be best to avoid writing in first person “I” Formal writing are almost always written in the third person. I suggest rewriting the sentences that use “I’. Maybe consider using “ this writer is involved in----.” The 1st person information in this essay is wonderful and relevant to the topic. Therefore, it can be easily changed to make it sound more formal and
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The paper mentions “that couples may not be in the best of term and not want to spend money to go back to the state that allows same-sex marriage to fill out the paperwork.” In fact, from some research that I have done to understand more on this topic, It is not even that easy. So I like to suggest that you might want to add that states that allow same-sex marriage still do not let you divorce unless you or your spouse are residents for six months or more, compared to heterosexual divorces that can be done in any state of residency, on average, from zero to six months after the initial divorce petition begins (Izzi,