outsider (n.): a person not belonging to a particular group, set, party, etc. At first glance, such a precise definition of the word “outsider” seems accurate. There is no question that any English teacher would think well of this, but life is more than a simple vocabulary quiz. Just about anybody on the street could tell you what outsider means at the drop of a hat. However, it requires some time and much thought to truly know what it means to be an outsider. The experience is all but universal, an inescapable truth in the lives of all of us; despite this, we often tend to forget the way it feels. The time that comes to mind when I consider the word outsider is when I started the year at a new school in seventh grade. I can still remember the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach as I trudged through the doors. I did not know a single person in the entire building, and I had no idea how I would survive the day. Being the novelty new kid, the others took a halfhearted interest in me. I was bombarded with questions from all sides for what felt like hours, but that wasn’t the hardest part. The hardest part was when the excitement died down and everybody was back to how they had been. Everybody had their own crowd of friends, …show more content…
The bell dinged and students poured into the cafeteria. They all dispersed very quickly, leaving me in the dust. Some clustered here, others there. Before long, I was the sole remainder, scanning the room for anybody who would be kind and reach out. In this moment I was crushed under the weight of their eyes, staring at me from all corners of the room. It was then that I felt like an outsider to my core. I was alone, excluded, and desperate to fit in. The tidal wave of self consciousness was overwhelming; to be so stark and vulnerable was one of the worst experiences of my