The Great Peanut Butter Debate: Crunchy Vs. Smooth
As a peanut butter lover, I have no understanding as to why this subject is even remotely debatable. We all know that smooth peanut butter is the best; its velvety smooth texture holds no comparison to the rubbery, gravel-like texture of crunchy peanut butter. But just to prove it to you, I will show you why we should never again entertain such atrocities as crunchy peanut butter.
The year 1884 marked the creation of a snack that would shock the world! Smooth peanut butter. A delicious spread with the consistency of butter but the taste of peanuts; its silky texture was packed with peanut and all the hard work of chewing the peanut had been done for you.
However, some humans have tried to expand on this brilliance only to create an utter failure, called crunchy peanut butter. Though at first thought it’s understandable that one would want to make peanut butter with even more peanuts, the sensation of its grit-like consistency scraping against the roof of your mouth, causes you to crash back to reality and realise this is absolutely disgraceful.
The invention of crunchy peanut butter left peanut butter spreaders in befuddlement, as a question they never thought they’d encounter arose: How does one
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You now have a mouthful of peanuts scraping against the roof of your mouth, and because of the lack of actual peanut butter, your mouth has become the Sahara desert. Now you’re chomping down on rubbery peanuts as they rub against your molars making noises that would disappoint even the squeakiest of chairs. So now you would think that your problems are over and all you have do is finish this unforsaken sandwhich and then you can go back to smooth peanut butter and forget this ever happened,