ipl-logo

Summary Of You Just Don T Understand By Deborah Tannen

421 Words2 Pages

This may not be exactly what Dr. Montoya intended, but when I was reading about different styles of communication it brought to mind my entire relationship with my husband. Communication and the different styles we prefer have been an issue for us for many years so much so that ten years ago we both agreed to read the book, You Just Don’t Understand, by Deborah Tannen. Different terms were used in this book to discuss a similar phenomenon. Where Ting-Toomey and Chung’s book discusses high context and low context cultures, Tannen, discusses metamessages and social roles between men and women. Tannen spends a large portion of this book discussing and affirming many stereotypes of men and women. Men want to “get to the point” quickly, while women feel it necessary to attend to the relationship first. Ting-Toomey and Chung make a similar distinction between low context and high context communication (123). I will frequently begin any request with what my husband says is a wishy-washy comment such as, “If it isn’t too much trouble,” or “Do you think it …show more content…

(Hints don’t really work anyway!) I try also not to take it personal when he really doesn’t care to have a leisurely chat about our day at work. If it doesn’t really serve a real direct function, he is not terribly interested. Of course, at times, he adapts his style to mine. This discussion leads me to wonder if the generalizations that are made about cultures in this and other books and resources are more focused on the style of men’s communication in that culture. My husband certainly fits the bill in regards to the communication style of Americans as listed in the Ting-Toomey and Chung book. Yet mine does not. Could it be that I am more traveled? That my undergrad degree is International Studies? I really don’t think so. From Deborah Tannen’s analysis, I am quite typical of women in the

Show More
Related

Summary Of No Wonder They Call Me A Bitch By Ann Hodgmans

200 Words | 1 Pages

1. In the essay written by Ann Hodgman called “No Wonder They Call Me a Bitch” I feel there is not an explicitly written thesis that is supported. The starting of the essay is “I’ve always wondered about dog food. Is a Gaines burger really like a hamburger?

Read More

Rhetorical Analysis Of Who Does The Talking Here By Deborah Tannen

710 Words | 3 Pages

From a study Tannen conducted, she describes the experience of a man who talked a lot in the room while his wife sat next to him dead silent, but then admitted to the importance of her wife’s personalized conversation starters later at night when they are alone, saying “She’s the talker in our family… It’s true. When we come home, she does all the talking. If she didn’t, we’d spend the evening in silence.(8)” Tannen later goes on to say “Drawing on… my own research of adults talking, I often (describe affiliative speech) this way: …(9)”.

Read More

Brief Summary Of Discovering You By Melissa Kean

334 Words | 2 Pages

Discovering You Melissa Kean Discovering You is a fiction narrative. It's a romance novel with aspects of action, thriller, and mystery. It's 1,226 pages of the interest-grabbing adventures of Lucinda Howard, her best friend Benjamin Jenkins, the mysterious Nicholas Davenport, plus other friends and old acquaintances. It was published November 10th of 2012 by Melissa Kean. It does not include any pictures but the imagery that Kean creates is enough to encourage the reader to make their own versions of the characters while still fitting into the description that Kean provides.

Read More

Deborah Tannen But What Do You Mean

520 Words | 3 Pages

“But What Do You Mean” Relating to Society The question, “why do men and women so often communicate badly, if at all?” Has influenced and motivated Tannen. In “But What Do You Mean” by Deborah Tannen, she discusses many areas of difficulty in communication between men and women. Tannen’s purpose was for her readers to understand the importance of communication, she also has identified several ways in which men and women miscommunicate, and she has taught her readers a few things about our society and how it can be improved.

Read More

America Before Columbus Negative Impact

720 Words | 3 Pages

The Europeans had “curiosities and thirst for power” (Angel, 2012), so communication with the Natives didn’t seem to be a thought. One could say each culture was different in the sense of being a high context culture or a low context culture. The Europeans were definitely the low context culture and the Natives the high context culture. Kittler, Nelms, and Sucher (2015) suggests that in a high context culture, the meaning of conversation is found in context, not in words. On the other hand, low context cultures focus on actual words to be expressed rather than focusing on who is receiving the message (p.

Read More

Summary Of Sex Lies And Conversation By Deborah Tannen

703 Words | 3 Pages

She emphasizes the recognition of “cross-cultural” communication is beneficial to repair the conversational issues (Tannen 264). She proposes couples to improve their relationship by learning differences, adjusting conversational styles, and changing attitude. Learning differences is crucial to couples at the beginning of improvement, which helps couples to achieve mutual acceptance. Ideally, couples change their communication patterns according to their partners’ preference.

Read More

Analysis Of Relational Dialectics In The Film 'Safe Haven'

1820 Words | 8 Pages

Communication is a critical foundation of every relationship; without it the relationship is deemed unsuccessful. Unsuccessful communication can result in constant tension, power inequalities and disagreements. Relational Dialectics is a communication theory, formed by Leslie Baxter and Barbara Montgomery, in which personal relationships are judged upon the management of tension produced by contradictory forces. (Thrift, 2017). Each of the contradictory forces contain two components, an internal source, between the individuals in the relationship and and external source, which is interference from the outside world.

Read More

Summary Of Sex Lies And Conversation Deborah Tannen

197 Words | 1 Pages

In the article “Sex, Lies, and Conversation” written Deborah Tannen, she states and discusses the differences between men and women communication and refers to it as cross-cultural communication. Females think intimacy and talking are the biggest parts of a relationship, males think less talking and more doing are the biggest parts of a relationship. Different genders have different listening strategies. Females face each other, make strong eye contact while talking about one subject. When males talk they sit angled from one another and their eyes wander the room when talking about multiple subjects.

Read More

Deborah Tannen How Male And Female Students Use Language Differently

383 Words | 2 Pages

Morghan Renfrow Instructor C. Shackelford English 1113, Section 101 1 September 2016 Analysts of “How Male and Female Students Use Language Differently” An essay written by Deborah Tannen called “How male and females students use language differently”, is describing how they talk and interact with others. The writer presents different studies on how language changes based on a certain person. The essay states that men are more aggressive and talkative, while women are calm and modest about talking about the views they share.

Read More

Sex Lies And Conversation Analysis

807 Words | 4 Pages

Sex, Lies and Conversation There are many differences between a man and woman, communication is just one difference. Deborah Tannen, a University of California graduate, got her PhD in linguistics at Georgetown University; there she studied the communication between men and women. Tannen has published over one hundred articles and wrote over twenty books, including You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation (1990), which spent almost four years on the New York Times best seller list and was translated into twenty-nine languages. The article Sex, Lies and Conversation appeared in the Washington Post in 1990 and gives insight to how opposite sexes communicate with each other. From an early age we are programed to play and be friends with the same gender as our own.

Read More

Identify Family Communication Patterns

262 Words | 2 Pages

I could identify the families’ communication pattern by noticing two key aspects of their communication, first were they were high or low conversation families and secondly are they high conformity or low conformity families. For instance, High conversation families talk about all subject matters and they believe that open and frequent communication is essential to an enjoyable and rewarding family life. They are also spontaneous and full of life. Whereas, low conversation families view talking as frivolous and tend to be quiet families. I next looked for conformity orientation, which is the degree to which families believe that communication should emphasize similarity or diversity in attitudes, beliefs, and values.

Read More

Gender Stereotypes Of Misogyny In The United States

856 Words | 4 Pages

Gender roles envelope a large pool of ideals stemming from the physical standard such as women being small and graceful or the psychological such as the assumption that women are supposed to be passive and submissive (Plannedparent). Women in the professional workforce often see misogyny in a set of four typical stereotypical fashions: seductress or sex object, mother, pet, and the iron maiden (Kanter 1977 pp. 233-236). The sex object encompases everything from a women’s appearance to their choice of cosmetics, or the ways in which her voice carries either a “masculine” or “feminine” quality (Kanter 1977 p. 233). According to Kanter the motherly roles comes in several forms, from the tender and nurturing bringer of change, to the punishing and unfocused- based on responsibility to family matters- that would distract her from political responsibility (Kanter 1977, p. 234).

Read More

Intercultural Communication In Rush Hour

1081 Words | 5 Pages

A low-context culture “uses language primarily to express thoughts, feelings, and ideas as clearly and logically as possible… The meaning of a statement is in the works spoken (Adler & Elmhorst,2008,p.47). A high-context culture, on the other hand “relies heavily on subtle, often nonverbal cues to convey meaning, save face, and maintain social harmony”.(p.47). James Carter’s straight-talking style proves for low-context culture. He always wants to get to the point in a quick way by asking direct questions.

Read More

The Genderlect Theory: Explaining Communication Between Men And Women

1816 Words | 8 Pages

Tannen used her genderlect theory to help bridge that gap by acknowledging and achieving an understanding of the language of each gender. Conversation between men and women can be described like cross-cultural communication. This is the basis of Tannen’s You Just Don’t Understand. In an effort to bridge that communication gap between genders, she examined the differences between how and why people communicate.

Read More

Convergence Vs Divergence

879 Words | 4 Pages

and many researchers have added on to this foundation, but this foundation has always proven to be very sound. The fact is there are a lot of different elements that play into how we communicate with others. but the ways in which we exploit our similarities and differences are important and understanding that will help you become a better communicator. convergence “ although convergent communicative acts reduce interpersonal differences. interindividual variability in extent and frequency of convergence is, perhaps not surprisingly, also apparent, corresponding to sociodemographic variables such as age (Delia and Clark 1977).

Read More

More about Summary Of You Just Don T Understand By Deborah Tannen

Related Topics

Open Document