“I wish I were magical, but I am really just a poor-ass reservation kid living with his poor-ass family on the poor-ass Spokane Indian Reservation” (Alexie, 2007, p. 7). “I spend hours in the bathroom with a magazine that has one thousand pictures of naked movie stars: Naked women + right hand = happy happy joy joy. Yep that’s right, I admit that I masturbate” (Alexie, 2007, p. 25-26). “’I’m looking at an anorexic,’ I said. A really hot anorexic, I wanted to add, but I don’t. ‘I’m not anorexic,’ she says. ‘I’m bulimic’” (Alexie, 2007, p. 106). “Well, you know, your mother helped me get a drink from the water fountain last night, if you know what I mean” (Alexie, 2007, p. 136). These quotes are just a handful of parts in the book, The Absolutely