Arguments Against Helicopter Parents

Parenting is a challenging experience. All parents have a strong innate desire to protect and provide the best for their children. Parents strive to shape and control their children’s life so that their children live up to their full potential. However, there should always be a limit of parental involvement in a child’s life, especially when parents want their child to be independent. The issue of helicopter parenting has drawn public attention in the recent years. According to Oxford Dictionary, helicopter parent is defined as “a parent who takes an overprotective or excessive interest in the life of their child or children.” Helicopter parents tend to “hover” over their child in a way that they control and protect them from harm or failure.

Lythcott-Haims shares her experience in meeting students who believed that they had to study in a certain field, do certain community services or interests that their parents planned for them. They are also not interested “in those items listed on their resumes.” Lythcott-Haims also claims that college students are miserable about their future and do not have particular interest as “[their] parents know what is best for [them].” This shows how parents remove a child’s motivation and interest by planning ahead for their child as a strategy to protect them from failure and disappointments. Griffin concurred the arguments brought up by Lynthcott-Haims. In Griffin’s article, he states that his client, Ian had turned his chair away and played with his family dog instead of studying. Of course, he got constant naggings from his parents and his parents even revised his homework and checked on assignments with him every evening. With consistent nagging and scolding, a child will not develop motivation to do a task. He will be distracted easily as he does not enjoy the process of learning. He will feel that he had to do it for his parents’ sake. On the contrary, Ian’s attitude changed when his parents listened to Griffin’s advice and started to reduce their involvement in Ian’s academics. Although Ian was angry at his parents in the first place, he learnt how face failure

Lythcott-Haims cites a 2014 study from the University of Colorado Boulder that links the helicopter parenting style with children’s lack of executive function of capabilities. Without that specific capability, children of helicopter parents face difficulties when they are in a new environment or situation. Overprotective parents tend to help their children to clean up the mess they made or to prevent a problem from occurring leading their child to miss out on the chance to struggle in life. So, they will not learn how to react if faced with difficulties in life. In addition, Griffin supports the idea brought up by Lyncott-Haims, stating that parents nowadays are mostly playing the role of “cheerleader” instead of “coach.” Instead of boosting a child’s self-esteem, praising their effort brings bad impacts such as increases disappointments in a child’s life. For instance, in Griffin’s article, Ian, who is constantly praised by his parents, is discouraged by slightest failure. He is frustrated when he failed his test and yelled at his parents. Furthermore, in the book “How Not to Talk to Your Kids” by Po Bronson, he warns parents not to praise their children who are struggling because they will never learn to deal with future. As we can see, praising is a form of reward. Reward is healthy for children, but it will lead to bad