Deans 'Attachment Styles In The Gilmore Girls'

ATTACHMENT STYLES IN THE GILMORE GIRLS Attachment styles are typically not objectively identifiable from person to person, even within the media. Varying behaviours and a myriad of coping mechanisms display attachment in different ways across the several facets of our lives, and even our favourite television characters lives. Avoidant and anxious behaviours can be evident with correct knowledge of what they look like, and how they may arise. In the show The Gilmore Girls, one of the main and supporting characters – Dean and Lorelai – are individual demonstrations of the typical anxious and avoidant attachment personalities respectively (Efros, 2004). Although both attachment styles are far from security (the standard of interpersonal wellbeing),

This is most prevalent in romantic relationships. In Deans’ romantic relationship with Rory, he exhibits typical anxiously attached behaviours – exemplified in episode 10 of season 2 (S02, E10). In this episode, Rory has formed a friendship with another boy (Jess) and Dean sees this as a threat to their relationship. Dean confronts Rory about her friendship which leads to an argument, and as Rory attempts to comfort Dean, he is unable to be comforted and maintains his anxieties. Though this behaviour (like avoidance) is also adverse, he clearly still seeks deep connection. Anxiously attached individuals often have a negative view of self and a positive view of others – leading to seeking reassurance and comfort from others as they are unable to be secure within themselves – which increases anxiety since seeking reassurance causes them to think that the reassurance is only present because they asked for it (Miller, 2022). In episode 21 of season 2, Dean expresses his discomfort and insecurity in his relationship with Rory, fearing he will lose her to someone else (S02, E21). He believes that Rory may not have feelings for him anymore, even though she expresses love to him. Anxiously attached individuals often have low self-esteem leading to a belief that it is hard to love them (Miller, 2022). Similarly to avoidant individuals, anxiously attached individuals expect to be hurt in relationships with others, so their fears manifest in anxiety (Miller, 2022). Another instance of Dean’s anxiety comes in episode 7 of Season 3 (S03, E07). Dean sees Rory looking at Jess during a dance marathon and feels that his relationship with Rory is threatened by Jess. He begins to be controlling and possessive. Anxiously attached individuals often exhibit controlling behaviours as they are afraid of their partners leaving them – often causing a further rift between them as the