What is conflict? I define conflict as a disagreement through which the parties involved perceive a threat to their requirements, significances or matters. Within this simple definition several important perceptions become apparent. Since kids, sex and money are the most pivotal areas for arguments and conflict, I will focus on those areas. Money was discussed in chapter 4 and will not be addressed in depth in this chapter.
Conflict is a characteristic of human existence. It is part of the dynamic of life that drives us into the future. But it needs to be managed positively. When associated with violence, destruction and killing, it is no longer a healthy part of living. Aggressive conflict solves few problems but creates many, and procreates
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While working as a Program Director with the Criminal Justice Systems, conflict was built in the programming. I spent numerous hours resolving conflict between inmates, staff, and inmates’ families. I observed causes that were common in most incidents. They are listed below:
1. Unaware of Anger or Bitterness:
Major life events such as childbirth or children, career changes, deaths of relatives, major purchases or relocation triggers resentment which often is not identified, expressed, or resolved. This can happen in situations such as the following:
With the birth of a child, husbands, not surprisingly, may begin to feel neglected by the wife who is now a mother (perhaps for the first, second, or third time).
One spouse may feel that she or he is being ignored., It’s also not uncommon for one or both spouses to feel resentful that he or she is not getting his or her sexual needs met for a prolonged period of time.
where there are financial stressors and/or where one partner is perceived as being a spend-thrift
where one spouse is seen as not contributing his share of the domestic