Division In Relationships

is an indicator of low commitment on Mike’s behalf as it relates to their relationship. Sheila expressed high levels of commitment when she was still trying to hold on to hope that their marriage would work even though it was rapidly deteriorating.

What are the issues that divide them? According to Jacobson et al. (1996) suggest that “the first step in coming up with a formulation is identifying a theme.” These themes are derived from the points of division in a relationship. In this instance, the therapist is observing those behaviors within the couple’s relationship that cultivate division or separation. Division can be derived by money, roles within the relationship, difference of opinion or perspective, or even physically appearances.

This question helps the therapist understand why the problems are problems. It as if we are discovering the cause and effects of the issues within a relationship. The polarization process and mutual trap is focused on as the therapist seeks to find out what causes them to behave in a way that opposes the other. Jacobson et al. (1996) expresses that in the process, the therapist is able to assess the couple’s ability to resolve their conflicts as well as the reactions that occur during the conflict. Closeness and distance is also noted by Jacobson et al. (1996) which can also be an issue to the couple’s relationship. In some couples, partners may want love and affection frequently while the other partner may not be that affectionate, therefore it causes an issue between the because there is a different perspective on the level of closeness that they desire. Due to Sheila gaining weight, Mike’s attraction to her decrease. That’s why it was easy for him to commit adultery because his level of closeness with her decreased. He no longer cared about her emotional needs. In Sheila’s perspective, the stress of trying to please someone who did not love her was the cause of the issues in their

At this point the therapist is to reflect on what steps to take in order for the treatment plan to be effective. According to Jacobson et al. (1996) change and acceptance of difference are the tools that are desired to cause an improvement in the couple’s relationship. The therapist is to guide the couple in a direction that they can magnify their strength and to help them to accept their differences. The three areas of focus that the therapist seek to discover are accommodation, compromise, and collaboration in order to bring change and acceptance (Jacobson & Christensen, 1996). If these areas are present them it is a good sign that therapy will be successful or effective. The culture of therapy is being able to be willing the make changes and accept those that cannot be changed in order to live a life that is conducive to stability within relationships and individuals. Unfortunately, for Mike and Sheila there is no accommodation, compromise, or collaboration between them which means therapy would be more difficult to