Hella I’ve had a lot of problems in my life. My condition, autism, and abuse. It never made me someone I wasn’t but I did, however, manage to bury it. Some problems come and go. Arguments with friends, straighteners breaking (they didn’t work, I’m still gay), or forgetting to do my homework. A lot of people have tried to stop me being who I am and this is the story. My discovery was unusual. It started with me watching the psychological crime drama “Lie to Me” when I felt some… weird feelings. At the start I thought it was Tim Roth but I quickly realised it was actually Kelli Williams. Such a beautiful, classy lady. But I had to keep a straight face. I’d heard something about being gay and I saw the reaction from the people around me, I put …show more content…
Our teacher talked about espionage, and she asked what we would do if we were spies and I was trying not to laugh so hard I almost peed myself. People started staring when I chuckled and said “lesbianage”. That’s when a few realised something I tried to keep to myself because it was wrong, bad, a sin. They were mean. They were horrible. They called me names, they beat me up, but I’d had worse from people closer to me. Sometimes I would fight back, I am muscular built and could take on anyone, I could win in any fight if I wanted to. It was my mind that stopped me from fighting back every time. The memories of the things said broke my soul and my heart. I didn’t even want to …show more content…
In my mind, I saw us being good friends one day. Benny saw it differently. As soon as we got to know each other better, I knew something was off. Sammy was scared, and if Sammy is scared then I’m in a bad place. When we went on Skype for the first time, I could see his eyes. I am autistic and I have trouble with understanding feelings and emotions but even I could tell something wasn’t right in his head. He had a craziness about him which meant I couldn’t leave. He told me he “hated the gays and all of them should be punished and die”, then later his exact words were “if I find out you are one of them, I’m gonna find you, and I’m gonna rape you”. I knew I was stuck. It feels like he is always behind me. That line is my every thought. I wake up to it and I fall asleep to it. It’s my dreams and what I hear when people talk to me. I was