Interpersonal Communication And Transactional Analysis Paper

Interpersonal communication is the process by which people exchange information, feelings and meaning through verbal and non-verbal messages. Communication models such as the Johari Window, Shannon Weaver Model of Communication and Transactional Analysis were created to allow us to see specific concepts and steps within the process of communication between individuals.

A recent experience that has demonstrated growing awareness of my communication skills was an argument between my partner Nick, and myself. The argument took place in the living area of our house, in the afternoon, only the two of us were present. Prior to our argument, Nick had been at work all day, starting at six in the morning, he was due to finish at four that afternoon.

"Transactional Analysis (TA) is a powerful psychoanalytical tool that anyone can use to analyse communication transactions between individuals" (Berne, 1964; 2001). This communication model goes into depth about the development of ego states, Parent, Adult and Child. Berne defined an ego state as "a system of feelings accompanied by a related set of behaviour patterns" (Berne, 1964). My understanding of Berne's definition is that the way we feel and then act on that feeling becomes a behaviour and the behaviour becomes repetitive over time, whether it is good or bad, we may be conscience to it or we may not. The Parent state is a part of us which reflects communication experiences from growing up with our parents. The parent state is further categorized into, Critical Parent (CP) and Nurturing Parent (NP). The Child state reflects the 'carefree' approach from a young age, involving tantrums and being irrational, this state is further categorized into the Free Child (FC) and Adapted Child (AC). The Adult State "is the part of us that deals with the 'here and now'" (Hollins Martin, 2011), we gather and process information, apply rational and logical reasoning. In regards to my communication experience with Nick, we both begun in the Adult State. I was happy Nick was home and he was too, this was confirmed by the kiss and hug we shared. In hindsight it wasn't the best time to bring up the

After reflection of my recent communication experience, I have noticed my communication skills are not as effective as they could be. I have identified that I tend to communicate what I would like done but I do not communicate the underlying reason therefore causing conflict. Another point I have identified in my communication skills is the way I react during conflict, especially when I do not receive the response I would like. As I said earlier, I fell into the Child state and stormed off in anger, only making the situation worse. I could have approached Nick's response rationally and had a civilized conversation to resolve the issue quicker. After taking a few steps back and reflecting on my own communication skills, it has taught me to be more patient and understanding of others feelings and to unpack the issue to resolve it the best way