You want to know where it all began, doc? You want me to go all the way back? I’m a monster, doc, I’m a monster and a sicko and my mind… my mind is slipping. But I’ll try to remember when it began. I… I suppose it would’ve been when I was twelve years old and I was watching the news. I was an odd kid like that doc, I’d watch the news, nobody really liked me. But anyway, I saw the verdict in this trial, trial of a killer. The ol’ judge was hollering at him but he was just smiling. I don’t know what it was but something was comforting in that smile. I don’t know what… I’m not insane, doc. You know that don’t you? Don’t you? Please, I need this, I know I’m crazy, but I need this, I need to know you don’t think I’m crazy doc, please… The first time I killed a man? Do you …show more content…
It was so very cold. I went into the apartment building, I didn’t know exactly what I was doing, it was sort of an out of body experience if you know what I mean doc. So I got up to where I thought the apartment ought to be, but I realized I had no idea which door to go in, or how I was going to get in. And suddenly I looked around and it was just so empty and I was all alone in the hallway and… and… well I’m not exactly sure what happened. I don’t like to talk about the hallway. But I went in. I knocked on a door and a man opened it and I forced myself in. I wasn’t thinking murder doc. You understand that, I wasn’t thinking murder, but… I guess I wasn’t thinking of anything but getting out of the hallway, out of the loneliness… out of the cold. I never wanted to kill him, but I… I wasn’t thinking. I grabbed the scissors. I didn’t mean anything by it, but I grabbed the scissors. He tried to take them away from me doc, he wasn’t nice at all, he was shouting and hollering, he was the judge not the smiling man doc, you have to see, it wasn’t my fault he didn’t like me, he tried struggling with me, but… but I had the scissors. I stabbed him in the throat. He