My Childhood Experiences Of Richard Rodriguez And James Baldwin

It wasn’t until my sophomore year of university that I was finally diagnosed with depression, although this wasn’t much of a surprise and as it was a simple label to feelings I had for the entirety of my life. The thought of ever beating and ending the boring battles and misery that came with depression seemed completely out of my reach, until I finally started attending therapy. Now I live as proof that this hope I gained during this crucial point in my life was for the most part mistaken, as it turned out my pessimism was proved to be warranted. I am now 31 years old and feel I have no purpose and have failed at the game of life, yet I can now live comfortably but not necessarily happily with this fact. I was able to graduate from University

While there are certain differences in who I am now compared to my 21 year old self, I haven’t changed much for the most part due to my constant thoughts on my own ethics and self-evaluation that stem out of my childhood experiences that made me grow up faster than most. Similar to the experiences of Richard Rodriguez and James Baldwin, I have grown to be much more in tune with myself in a near spiritual sense, or at the very least I have grown to be much more comfortable in my own body. I no longer view the needs of others as inherently being much more valuable than that of mine, a belief deeply rooted in my insecurities and mental illness. I can finally say that I do hold myself and my mental wellbeing as being of the upmost importance as without my own abilities to live with myself, I cannot reasonably continue to aid others as effectively as I wish. This is likely where one would wonder about the legacy they will leave but similar as in my youth, I don’t care much about it. It is said that you die twice: once when your heart stops beating and your brain shuts down for good, and the last time someone calls your name in memory of you. I am not fearful of death as can be noted by my two previous attempts at making it come sooner, but what I do fear for is that I will have no real impact on those living today and in the future. I do not care for fame nor an everlasting commonly known impact, but instead I seek to help those around me and to be in the background of larger movements. Along with my continual lack of interest in having biological offspring, I have not changed much with regards to what I leave behind when I die, but the largest difference is when I do die I will do so finally being comfortable in my own