My parents kept going into the study, shutting the door behind them, and talking in hushed voices. My sister and I, in first and third grade at the time, kept trying to catch what they were saying. A few nights later, we were invited into the study. The door was shut and we all talked in quiet voices, despite being in an otherwise empty house. The subject itself called for somewhat hushed voices - cancer.
My mom felt a lump in her breast in November 2009. She was diagnosed with Stage 2A Breast Cancer in December. My sister and I were told two weeks later. My mom named the tumor Lenny later that month because she “wanted to give it a name that made it sound weak, so I could beat it,” as my mom later told me. On December 24th, Christmas Eve, my mom had surgery to check her lymph nodes and see if the cancer had spread.
For families that have a parent diagnosed with cancer, how to handle the situation around the kids is a big question. Cancer changes the daily life of a family. The combination of change and the experience of seeing a parent undergo cancer treatment can oftentimes have longer-lasting effects on the children than the cancer itself. In addition to the uncertainty surrounding cancer, parents usually have some level of uncertainty about how much to reveal to
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The spouse is faced with the burden of taking on more parental responsibility and the children are faced with the uncertainty and fear of an oftentimes complex disease. “Cancer is a family experience,” writes NIH researchers Wozniak and Izycki, “and often family members have as many problems coping with it as does the diagnosed patient” (Wozniak and Izycki). The cancer diagnosis and the emotional reactions to it can provide an equal amount of stress for all involved. A situation like this can invoke new stressors in a child, such as parent-child role change and living in a changed environment, which can trigger anxiety and depression disorders