When you see somebody with a broken bone or a gruesome injury you think, Wow they must be in a lot of pain. What most people do not realize is that sometimes, the most agonizing pain is the one that nobody can see. When that feeling of imperceptible pain begins to lurk into the deep pit of my stomach I have to push it down and put a smile on my face. It is as if I cannot let anyone know what is going on in my head because it will make me defenseless. I am terrified of my own vulnerability. This thing that I struggle with and try so hard to conceal is anxiety. I have had a perpetual battle with anxiety for the last four years. When people think about anxiety, they just think it is those people who get really nervous about things and if they just loosened up then they would be fine, but that is not the case. People who have anxiety have to fake a smile every day so that people do not see them fighting with their inner self. Having anxiety is waking up in the morning feeling like you have no control over your body, every noise you hear sounds like nails …show more content…
I have them in the car, stores, restaurants, skating competitions, and volleyball tournaments. I have been skating and playing volleyball for years. Those things were like second nature to me, but now they are not. As much as I love those things the anxiety led me to loathe them. Just thinking about skating in competitions made my stomach churn. I became angry with myself. I thought, Why is this happening to me? Why am I letting my mind hold me back from what I loved the most? In the end, I let my anxiety get the best of me. I crawled into a ball and gave up. I have regretted my decision ever since I chose to walk away from skating and not come back. By not staying and fighting I gave up the thing that made me happiest. I wish that I could go back in time and stand my ground. I wish I could have been strong for myself. I wish that I did not give