Personal Narrative: A Break Up

"It takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart." ― Suzanne Collins, Mockingjay

That quote up the top couldn't be any truer.

By most people standards I am doing fine. A break up, a life change, emotional change and a game change I have survived in just under three weeks, and I even surprised myself by how well I am doing. The definition of progress is that I am not still holed up in a corner or lying in bed.

The tour and meeting the staff were a breeze, the pub afterwards that had its own story. All I can think about at is what is happening or happened to the man in front of me. I can see the emotional reflection. Chris is just as broken as I am.

When Dermot left for to continue the tour with Chris.

I didn't know if I should even respond, but I made some smart ass comment about 'All the time' and excused myself from the conversation and went and stood by Chris.

Having an Aussie accent is going to be a killer. Have I seen a kangaroo? What the fuck?

I pretended this afternoon that I hadn't heard Dermot's parting comment to Chris. He had told Chris that this was his 'last chance.' Sure, like any interested person I had been trying to hold back from asking Chris what his Dad meant. I have only known Chris less than 24hours, but I could tell I am not going to get a direct answer. I'm not even classed as being a friend yet.

Standing by Chris and my new workmate Jason, I could feel myself start to flag with energy and made the decision to call it a night. I tapped Chris gently on the shoulder and mentioned that I was going to go home. Long day and all.

Chris I could see was weighing up in his mind on whether he should join me or head to the bar for another drink and I sure as hell wasn't going to wait around for him to make a

Oh yeah sure, fine... I'm good... it's nothing. I'm fine...' He said when he came around, and I watched him as his free hand repeatedly ran through his hair.

Again, I didn't push it, but I was starting to notice the finer details. When you meet someone, sure you take in their appearance, but do you really see them? I started to notice that Chris had slight freckles and his jeans were worn in and his black wool jacket was cut like he stepped out of twilight. When I saw him this morning it was a GQ appearance. Today, when we were in the studio was also a different man.

Chris regardless of whatever shit he did have going on his life, I could tell he was passionate about his job. He was confident and focused and it was good to see that he had that quality in his personality. When I listened to several recordings of the show, it was surprising to hear Chris' laugh. He was infectious to every listener. I had to give him props; he could make his own standup comedy show if he wanted to.

The show had over 10 million listeners and had a stream that went to over 25 countries. When Chris mentioned those sorts of figures, I was stunned. Sure, Todd had preached these figures before, but this was nothing like home. It was sheep stations playing field.