"Would I be willing to die? Right here right now, no questions asked?” I asked myself as I walked on the sidewalk alongside the park. It was chilly outside and the wind blew on my hair, throwing it in my face. This question popped in my head after the words “I want to die” left my mouth, a common occurrence recently. I stopped to consider this, wondering if what I found myself saying several times in a day was actually true. I remember reading about a man who survived his encounter with death, his thoughts before he thought he would die were of his regrets. I wondered what I would think about in the few seconds I had before meeting death. I realized with a gasp there was way too many things left undone and too many words would be left unsaid. Perhaps because I am young or maybe because in my short life I had not done much and recently, not what was expected. Thoughts raced around in my mind, mental images flashing in front of my eyes of …show more content…
Now I am sixteen and she is eight. I am at the peak of my adolescence and she is at the peak of her childhood. My biggest regret is never making the time to play with her. My biggest fear is dying and leaving behind a sister who’s only memory of me is as a mean and cold teen. My biggest fear is being the cause for her sadness. It doesn’t help that I see myself in her. In the way she shyly asks me for things so as to not get me mad. I see it in her unsure smile at the end of every sentence, and I hear it in her words and the fear of rejection lingering around the edges. I recognize these things because that’s how I used to be. Always tip toeing my way around my older brother Ricardo. He always regarded me with a coldness I couldn’t quite place, even though he was only 4 years older than me. I remember his indifference, his mean words, and his threats. I remember his hurtful words and their effect on me, long lasting and