Divorce According To Healthy Place

In 2002, if someone had told me I’d be a divorcee today, I would have laughed in their face. Not just because I was vehemently against divorce, but also because I knew James and I were in it for the long haul. From our first date to our wedding day, we were inseparable. Our goals and interests were seemingly aligned and we were hailed as a perfect match by our family and friends. Even though I suspected things were off before our wedding day, I was convinced we both had the dedication to see it through. I was a new Christian, due to his persistence, and had a lot of maturing to do. But, it wasn’t until my relationship with Christ deepened that I realized our marriage was doomed.

When I said, “things were off”, that was an understatement. Because

But what was supposed to be couples counseling turned into individual counseling for me. I’m thankful because the counselor equipped me with tools to better understand and deal with our conflicts. She dropped words like narcissism, gaslighting and emotional abuse and even suggested he was never going to change. I refused to believe her, especially since I never considered emotional abuse a “thing” although it certainly summed up my marriage. According to Healthy Place, emotional, i.e. psychological abuse, is defined as “any act including confinement, isolation, verbal assault, humiliation, intimidation, infantilization, or any other treatment which may diminish the sense of identity, dignity, and self-worth.” Despite the definition and my counselor’s insistence, I believed my behavior fueled it. So instead of being a bitch and denigrating him, cussing his ass out or stealing him in his chest, I did a complete 180. I believed if I became the example by responding peaceably, he’d change too. So I put all my trust in God and did just

He grants divorce in the case of immorality, unrepentant infidelity, departure of a non-Christian spouse and all forms of abuse. He does instruct us to deal with divorce the same way He instructs us to deal with all sin in the church and that’s by the Matthew 18 process: to confront personally, then by others and then by the church. I followed this process but to no avail. Plus, it was ultimately James’s decision to end the marriage because he fell in love with someone. I will not say “someone else” because according to the Bible, he never loved