I have struggled with thoughts and fears of death for 30 years, but I also understand and accept the fact that “dying is an escapable part of life” (Quadagno, 2014, p. 299). However, this understanding and acceptance does little to ease my fears about dying. In reality, I do not fear death or dying as a process rather my fear is what awaits me on the other side. There are two correlating components associated with this fear, first is religion, which is followed by my sexual orientation. Having grown up in a Christian and church-going family, I understood homosexuality was a sin long before even knowing I was gay. Important to note, I was born in 1966, realized I was gay around the age of 14, and came out to my family in 1984. Why is this important? Because for as long as I could remember between both the church and society, it was engrained in me that I was predestined to burn in eternal hell. Now at the age of 48 it remains a struggle. I would equate this to the self-fulfilling prophecy in that when you hear something over and over again you begin to believe it; thus, it became my reality. …show more content…
For instances, having endured nearly 34 years of discrimination, detestation, bullying, and stigma, it throws you off balance from, which you never truly regain center. Admittedly, I now live an amazing life, yet I know if I am to regain center it will necessitate finding the answer to that which awaits me; however, the answer to this question is only found in death. With this in mind, you will most likely understand the reason I will go out kicking and