Reflective Essay On Grief And Loss

On the first day of the intensive, loss was introduced and described as ‘pervasive, but always resulting in a deprivation of some kind; we no longer have someone or something we used to have’ (Huang, 2018a). It was also stated that ‘we all are subject to many “little deaths” and the subsequent lessons they teach us, including giving up our impossible expectations of others and ourselves’ (Huang, 2018a). These statements allowed me to reflect on the nature of grief, loss and bereavement. I entered the intensive with a pre-existing understanding of what would be covered, and in the first few slides, it was made clear to me that my perception of grief and loss was far too narrow for what I was about to experience. I was able to analyse the small losses and ‘deaths’ that had occurred in my life and recognise them through the lens of grief. Although I would not have acknowledged some of my experiences as loss, I could see that I had in fact grieved these occurrences. It was with this comprehension that I was

However, upon unravelling the nature of loss, it can be seen that there are many complex facets to explore. The primary loss acts as a catalyst for the secondary, holistic, individual and metaphorical losses that ensue. When reflecting on losses that have affected others in my life, it provided me with scope to understand the other hidden, or less obvious pains and losses they may have experienced. For example, the disintegration of a marriage where one loses their home, their status within a certain community, their identity as a wife and partner, and their understanding that the person they once thought would always be there is no longer. These all warrant grieving in and of themselves, however, it seems that the individual is most often given the space to grieve the primary loss when this may not be the loss that is causing them the most