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Sex Lies And Conversation Deborah Tannen Summary

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In the article, "Sex, Lies, and Conversation", Deborah Tannen's emphasize is on the difference in communication styles between men and women and the resulting misunderstandings that arise between them, because of wrong assumptions about each other. Women regard conversation as the cornerstone of Friendship (Tannen 240). While in conversation women always faces each other directly, they overlap, finish other's sentences and anticipates what the other is about to say. Men's relations are based on doing things together, rather than on conversation.While talking men never looks to each other , they looks somewhere and periodically glances.But their discussions usually becomes debate, and conversation a competitive sport because of the oppositional format. …show more content…

This misunderstanding is the main consequence of difference in communication style of men and women. Also, "Since they don't assume talk is the cement that binds a relationship , men don't know what kind of talk women want, and they don't miss it when it isn't there"(Tannen 240).Again, "Some men really don't want to listen , because being the listener makes them feel one-down, like a child listening to adults or an employee to a boss" (Tannen 240). As a whole the misunderstandings, men's hesitance to listen and their unawareness about women's needs leads to relationship problems and hence increased divorce

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Deborah Tannen explained, on many different occasions, how to give an indirect order to a superior from a subordinate. Deborah mentioned indirect orders or concerns from subordinates to superiors are often overlooked and not taken as hints or serious suggestions. Due to the fact some pilots do not take subtle hints of co-pilots for danger, many co-pilots have taken courses on how to tell their superior officer of the impending danger that will follow if the pilot keeps the-= aircraft’s current course. Tannan recommends being more assertive and conscientious when giving indirect orders from a superior to subordinate or vise versa, as well as making sure direct orders will not cause the subordinate to feel inferior. The co-pilot tried to warn

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Our world is advancing so this means that other unacceptable things will surface and cause problems because we give them the chance to arise. One of the things we can do to make this a better place is tell that someone 's in danger which will end up saving their lives. This relates to the article “To Tell or Not to Tell” which provides examples of when someone didn’t tell when their friends were in danger, so they lost their colleague to negligence. However, there are times when people do tell and they help their friends and possibly save their lives . Although some teens of “To Tell or Not to Tell” by Mary Kate Frank have argued that people don’t speak up because they’d rather not get in trouble or make their friends mad at them, closer examination shows you should speak up because if you don’t your friends could become severely hurt or die due to your actions.

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Arguing about subjects that did not have to do with sports or recreational things,

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We have a tendency to have dialogue as more of a fight than a conversation. Tannen says that “noticing that public discourse so often takes the form of heated arguments of having a fight” (Tannen, pg. 8).

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Deborah Tannen’s essay was for us to understand the significance of communication in the work field. How the simplest verbal functions can be inferred in many different techniques. “Conversation is a ritual” meaning behind these four simple words the way one talks is a sort of a habit, never changing without purposely back on what we say or may say. Deborah gives her audience a powerful statement by using a metaphor that helps describe her essay. Ritual is a word commonly used to explain costumes that continue to represent.

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520 Words | 3 Pages

“But What Do You Mean” Relating to Society The question, “why do men and women so often communicate badly, if at all?” Has influenced and motivated Tannen. In “But What Do You Mean” by Deborah Tannen, she discusses many areas of difficulty in communication between men and women. Tannen’s purpose was for her readers to understand the importance of communication, she also has identified several ways in which men and women miscommunicate, and she has taught her readers a few things about our society and how it can be improved.

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996 Words | 4 Pages

Every sixty-eight seconds, an American is sexually assaulted, and it is stated that only twenty-five out of every one thousand perpetrators will see the consequences of their actions (RAINN). Now, imagine if the world was a place where victims felt as if they could speak up and receive proper assistance without question and judgment. Imagine if every sexual assault case concluded with justice for the victim. Laurie Halse Anderson tells her own story of sexual violence and the struggles of the aftermath through the eyes of high school freshman, Melinda Sordino, in her work Speak. Throughout the novel, Melinda internally fights with herself on who to protect, herself and other females around her, or her attacker’s reputation.

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Socio-linguist Deborah Tannen demonstrates how men and women communicate differently in her essay “Sex, Lies and Conversation: Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other?” In her observations of communication styles, she discusses the way in which men and women communicate leads them to conflict because they have different understanding of their partners’ role. She also explains male and female communication differences not only cause ineffective conversation, but also push couples into a dilemma in their relationship; however, as men and women better understand the differences, their relationship improves. In the first part of her essay, Tannen discusses men and women do not have enough effective communication, which damages their marriage.

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451 Words | 2 Pages

Most women tend to have more responses when listening to someone, by saying “mhm” or “uhuh”. Which Tannen referenced from Lynette Hirschman who made an observation of the characteristics found in women. Then saying that men usually tend to react with silence unlike women, which leads them to believe that men are uninterested in the conversation. And just how women feel ignored, men often feel frustrated with the way women communicate. Men feel this way when women respond with too many listener noises because they deem it as overreaction as they are used to giving silent reactions.

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166 Words | 1 Pages

Deborah Tannen, writer of the article “Sex, Lies and conversations,” published by The Washington Post (1990) claim that women and men have a different viewpoint of communication in marriage. Tannen develops this idea after comparing her own studies about this subject with other professionals researches, where they learned that girls consider conversation or talking vital in their friendships, boys on the other hand bond by doing things together. Tannen purpose is to help both men and women to be more understanding of each other by explaining the physical positions each other takes in conversation. For example “women face each other directly when talking while men look somewhere else in conversations,” further purpose would be to help couples

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Nadine Sia SOC-1 Professor Thompson November 10th, 2015 You Just Don’t Understand This article was about the difference between how men and women perceive conversation. He opens up with a conversation that both parties took very differently than the other. He then goes on to explain more differences, such as status vs. support, independence vs. intimacy, advice vs. understanding, etc.

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523 Words | 3 Pages

Summary According to Deborah Tannen, agonism refers to ritualized opposition, a situation when a party in a debate wins rather than an argument that comes up when two parties disagree. She claims that the academic world is very agonistic. We tend to think that intellectual inquiry is a metamorphic battle and to show our skills is to criticize, find fault and attack and foster this in students. Students are often taught to criticize and find the weakest point from one’s work to support their view while ignoring the strength and other important facts of the paper that would support other’s viewpoint.

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536 Words | 3 Pages

I disagree because in a two person conversation with a man and woman I believe the woman will start to talk about herself and continue to talk without

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625 Words | 3 Pages

Anyhow, is important to know that the missing piece of a relationship is communication, and understand that men and women are different. Although Tannen, in Sex, Lies, and Conversation, states that communication manners vary from men and women, causing conflict; however, Judy Brady,

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1816 Words | 8 Pages

Tannen used her genderlect theory to help bridge that gap by acknowledging and achieving an understanding of the language of each gender. Conversation between men and women can be described like cross-cultural communication. This is the basis of Tannen’s You Just Don’t Understand. In an effort to bridge that communication gap between genders, she examined the differences between how and why people communicate.

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