Cas looks up in confusion.
“You are not a burden Cas, and you are not keeping us from anything,” Sam continues, his eyes pinned on Cas. “You are our friend, Cas. You are more than that, you are family. We do care about you, because you matter. I don’t know how much Lucifer messed with your head to make you believe that.”
Lucifer didn’t have to mess at all, he was just the finale nail in the coffin. Cas can’t quite believe Sam’s words. After being told by his brothers and sister that they weren’t their family, being told he is a part of the Winchester family feels surreal. After being called expandable by Amara, being told that he matters, seems like a fever dream again.
“Do you mean it?” he asks Sam,.
Sam almost laughs. “Of course I mean
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Cas comes with them, which makes most hunts easier. Sam and Dean have lesses bruises and less broken rips.
Cas heals slowly, but he heals. Sam and Dean let him know how much me matters, and he knows how much they struggle with things like that. But for Cas they try.
When they are not on a hunt Cas works in the garden every day. Dean usually helps him. They now have a flowerbed with just wild flowers that are good for butterflies, bees and other insects.
Claire, Jody and Alex visit them a few times and Claire asks Cas how things are going with Dean. Cas tells her that Dean still needs to learn a couple of things about having a garden and that they are a good team during hunts. Claire just rolls her eyes and leaves a confused Cas behind.
Quickly a year is passing. Today they are not on a hunt and the sun is shining. It’s the first warm week of spring and Cas works in the garden.
“Hey, Cas,” Dean joins him.
“Hello, Dean,” Cas says, “I already worked on the potatoes, the carrots could use some work though.”
They work in silence, like most of the time. Until Dean asks, “Cas how are you doing?”
“Okay, I think,” Cas answers perplexed. Why is Dean suddenly asking how he is
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“I know the past year was rough on you, buddy,” Dean bites his lip, and Cas stands up so that he and Dean are on the same level.
“And you are always there for me, despite every thing, you are the best friend I ever had,” Dean continues his speech. Cas notices that Dean his fumbling with his hands. “And I know I have not…not always been there for you. And you will probably say no, and I would totally understand why, I mean I’m a dick most of the time, and-“
“Dean,” Cas is stopping Dean’s nervous rambling. “You too, are the best friend I ever had, despite the fact that you are a dick most of the time.”
Dean finally looks up and directly into Cas’ eyes, that he has avoided the entire time so far.
“I’m tired, Cas,” he says. “Tired of this ridiculous, little dance we are having.”
“We are not dancing, Dean.”
Dean laughs. It’s a special little laugh only Cas gets to hear.
“The point is, Cas,” Dean continues. “The point is that I am in love with you. Have been for years, but it was never really the right time. I mean I doubt that now is the right time, or that it will ever be the right time. And I completely understand that you don’t want to be with me, I wouldn’t want to be with me either. And-“
“Dean Winchester,” Cas cuts him off. “Why do you always think so low of yourself. You deserve to be loved and of course I love you, too.”
Dean stares at him blankly.
“You do?” he asks