It feels as if though you are submerged in water, and the water is gradually becoming darker and darker. Although you can still breathe, you find it 's getting harder to do so. All you can do is remain still, and hope that you will eventually float back to the top. This is what social anxiety feels like.
It started as a peculiar feeling, when I found myself in a situation were I was surrounded by countless faces that I was unfamiliar with. A sense of awkwardness, which soon turned into a sense of dread. A feeling in which I felt that the countless faces were solely focused on me. Although I knew deep down that this was not the case, it did not stop my subconscious from believing that it was. Walking from place to place I would look down, attempting to keep any form of attention away from me. I went from someone who couldn 't keep their mouth shut, to someone was reluctant to speak at all. It was as if though I wasn 't human at all, but an alien, isolated from the rest of humanity.
Rather than attempting to cope with what I felt, I decided to ignore it as best as I could. I began to immerse myself with various distractions, such as television, movies, and music. Throughout those years I depended on
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I 'm not going to lie and pretend that I 've completely eradicated my anxiety, because that is far from the truth. Many of the aspects within myself I 've tried to correct, are still within me to this day. I 've been able to muffle that sense of dread rather than fully silence it. Even so, I 'm completely fine with that. It 's unrealistic to think that one could easily remove something that 's been deeply rooted within your psyche. But rather than dwelling on my anxiety, I 've learned to deal with it. It 's part of who I am, and like it or not, it 's here to stay for the time being. With That In Mind, I plan on living my life to the fullest potential. Appreciating the beauty found even in the most minute moment that I experience. Discovering others just as much as