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Staying In Abusive Relationships

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#1. Jacobson and Gottman list several factors that contribute to women staying in abusive relationships. List them, describe and explain them as best you can.
In the text the authors talk about some of the main reasons that women stay in these abusive relationships. One of the reasons is because of what the author describes as Traumatic bonding . Trauma bonding is loyalty to a person who is destructive. One of the first questions that we have for a person in an unhealthy relationship is, “Why do you stay?” This question probably makes the individual feel as though they are weak and a failure, these feelings usually result in shame and guilt. In some cases, women may seem to "want" to be beaten. I thought it was interesting because when people …show more content…

Gang stalking is described as a group of people in a community, who target an individual to ultimately break them down mentally. This incessant chipping away happens in such a way that the individual eventually tends to think that they are going crazy. This seems to be very similar to the concept mentioned by the authors ‘gaslighting’. This means to make the spouse of the abusive Pit-Bulls believe that she is going crazy or is detached from reality in some way. It is a systematic attack on her perception of reality (Jacobson & Gottaman). This phenomenon known as ‘Gaslighting’ happens as a result of a relationship between the Pit-Bull and his spouse: the gaslighter (Pit-Bull), needs to be right to preserve his grandiose self-concept and perceived power (that he believes to possess in the world around him). The person being gaslighted ( wife of the Pit-Bull) permits the pit bull husband to define her sense of reality as he sees fit. Tjis seems to happen because she desires his love and approval above all else. From the case scenarios presented in the text , it seems as though the pit-bull attempts to disintegrate his wife’s reality, by communicating to her verbally that what she thinks she is experiencing is not so, and gradually the wife gives up and does not fight what she is being indoctrinated with. This is different form a good negotiator in my mind because it involves demeaning someone and tearing them down, in order to build up self. Both types of people utilize persuasion to a certain extent. The ‘good negotiator’ appears to have boundaries and leaves the other person with the opportunity to either; agree or disagree with what they are being told by their own volition. The ‘gaslighter’ does not seem to give the

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