Rebecca Summer Case Study

Proverbs 31:28 says: “Her children rise up and call her blessed”. Rebecca Summer, a mother of 6, rests in the promise that her children loving her in return will be and is the greatest gift of parenting. Rebecca has three biological children: ages twenty-one, nineteen, and fourteen; and she has three adopted children: ages eight, seven, and five. She is the first to admit that parenting is not an easy task. Rebecca often finds herself asking the question: “When and what did I do wrong?”. Her heart and mind are steadied when she reminds herself that one day her children will return her love tenfold. In her experience, that requited love comes when it is least expected and needed most. Upon learning about her first pregnancy, Rebecca went door

Loving, she says, is the most important quality. Her parenting style is very much authoritative; however, she admits that some things she does would shock other parents. She says that her kids would describe her as “strict”, an all knowing “ninja”, and “protector”. Rebecca is a firm believer in instilling independence in her children. Her top priority as a caregiver is to teach her children to become the healthiest, strongest, wisest, and most independent adults they can be. When prompted about how that looks, she uses the example of her oldest going off to college. Once she turned eighteen, Rebecca relocated all of her daughter’s possessions to a loft above the garage. It was both a lesson and symbolic understanding that Rebecca would no longer be there to do everything for her daughter. Giving her daughter a larger portion of independence and responsibility helped prepare her for her future. Rebecca laughingly recalls seeing her daughter more in their living room, those first couple of months, than she ever had before. While this method would be developmentally inappropriate for a young child, it worked well with her oldest who is, according to Erikson’s psychosocial development, already individuating. With her younger children, Rebecca assigns chores and tasks that are slightly above their level, to teach them that it is okay to not be perfect at something yet. Rebecca is not afraid to

Karen Purvis. It is about parenting adopted children from trauma and how-to re-foster attachment and trust. It is the book I am reading in my book club; it has wise, research based advice. When Rebecca discussed differences in her biological and adopted children’s responses to discipline, that book could really help fill in the gaps for her. Rebecca also talked a lot about self-care and her lack of it. She really prides herself on being an empathic parent; however, that takes a lot of mental and emotionally energy, so it is really easy for her to burnout. Once Rebecca is burnt out, she cannot respond out of that identity anymore. She becomes short, temperamental, and reactive towards her children. She often feels like she cannot do enough to relieve the stress that is on her. I am positive that she is not the only mom who feels this way. I would encourage her to set aside “me time”. It would be a designated time where she could do what she wanted or needed to do to partake in self-care. It is so important for parents to understand that they need to be able to drop what they are doing and set boundaries for themselves. It is impossible to be a caring and giving parent if you have nothing else in you to give. So, when the child is sleeping, the parent also needs to sleep; set a reminder to take a bubble bath; take a walk; or go on a car ride. Parents need to take care of themselves