The Empathy Diaries By Sherry Turkle Summary

The virtuous cycle, according to Sherry Turkle in her essay “The Empathy diaries” consists of three main components, first solitude, second conversation and finally self-reflection. These components can be seen clearly in Yiyun Li’s essay “Dear Friend, From My Life I Write to You in Your life.”, Li shares with us her experience with identifying her own self which is linked to solitude, opening up to others which is the conversation and finally how she disagreed with people’s view of her which is self-reflection. Showing us how she works through the virtuous cycle with the added component of time; the before and after claim that she has as the main idea in her essay can seem like the beginning and the ending of the virtuous cycle. In her essay,

This part of the virtuous cycle is where people can really find out about themselves, who they are, what they have accomplished and their beliefs. This in Turkle’s point of view, helps people to gain confidence in themselves to move to the next part of the virtuous cycle. In contrast, in Li’s essay solitude does not always reinforce a secure sense of self. Li describes how she was “hiding my nothingness from people. I worry that they have been deceived by me: the moment they see my nothingness they will leave me”(Li 119). She describes how solitude can make you deceive people about who you really are, unlike Turkle where solitude strengthen that sense of self so you can begin to develop conversation with others. Li’s solitude leads her to discover her “nothingness” and therefore wanted to hide it from people around her. She thinks that her nothingness as a misdeed that needs hiding, she ….. “One hides an affair if one is unfaithful in a marriage; one hides a misdeed”. Her time in solitude broke the virtuous cycle apart. Even though there is a contrast of opinion, still, both authors have the same view that solitude affects how people view

Li shows us her understanding of the value of conversation when she said: “I thought; if I could understand and articulate my problems, I wouldn’t have been there in the first place” (Li 111). She was not able to share her thoughts with others, she wanted to always stay invisible claiming that it is a “luxury”, Yet she realizes the importance of conversation with people around her. It seems as if she thinks that being invisible from people around you, in other words being disconnected, leads you to think that life is not worth it. The capacity of empathy also comes from conversation with others. She mentions in her essay “Letter especially those bearing too many stamps, carried the weight of friendship”(Li 114). Li’s conversation with her friend leads her to develop empathy for him. She was able to identify his potential, his goals and dreams, she was able to even see that “he was the kind of person who needed others to feel his existence”(Li 114).Turkle describes this gem from conversation when she says “Conversation with other provides rich material for self-reflection”(Turkle 10). Li’s conversation made her think about what really makes someone a dreamer, exploring how personalities differ from each other and comparing it to her